Valentine’s Day prix fixe dinner is just a way to take advantage of your wallet. A scam, that leaves your stomach still growling. Not only is service rushed and terrible,  since the servers are busy jamming jewelery into chocolate lava cakes all night, but the menu is usually smaller than usual. Still, restaurants feel comfortable charging whatever they please, since Valentine’s Day is one day they know they have you by the cojones. 

LOS ANGELES-:  District 13– Is charging anyone who wears red to the restaurant an extra 10% on their check price. “Furthermore, the restaurant promises ‘no love songs, no romantic movies playing on the flat screens, no romantic pre fix menus, no roses or hearts.'”

SAN DIEGO – Love (or anti-love), as well as beer, will be in the air on Tuesday, with several romantically inspired events all over the Bay Area. The romantic Beer Revolution will be the place to go for a Valentines Day Massacre, featuring a special beer that Speakeasy made for Beer Week, paired with special sorbet, including Frosted Anus.

HOLLYWOOD: Birds Cafe & Bar – “We were told Birds will be brewing prizes for the best break-up stories, “Voodoo dolls, Black Heart martinis, great heartache tunes and group therapy for the lovelorn,” but there are apparently also exes-in-effigy pinatas, poison Post-It notes scribbled and stuck all over the restaurant, and all the “shit they burned on the bar” last year.